3-Word Wisdom 3: Nurture loving relationships

It is no secret that I am completely and hopelessly in love with my husband. My earlier post told the story of our 42 years together, including nearly 37 years of marriage. We are both keenly aware that we are blessed to have found our lifelong partners so early in our lives.

“What is the secret to your success?” I get this question from time to time, usually from young people who are still seeking “the one” – or from couples who are new to the adventure, and seem to be in awe that hubby and I are still so happy together after so many years! Such queries have led me to ask myself what has contributed to our marital longevity.

Here is our “recipe”:

• We nurture both our passion and our friendship. Hubby and I spent the first 2 ½ years of our relationship as friends. Our love for each other blossomed as our friendship deepened. He is my very best friend – and the one who still makes my heart flutter.
• We laugh – a lot! Nothing breaks the tension of a tense moment or a temporary him vs. her standoff than the ability to laugh at the situation.
• We compromise. One plus one quite often equals two – opinions, solutions, perspectives. We recognize the give and take of our marriage, and always try to find a mutually acceptable middle ground.         
• We trust each other – and make sure that we are worthy of that trust.
• We communicate. This requires the ability express our feelings – the good, the bad and the ugly - without making accusations. It is not always perfect, yet we both believe in our relationship strongly enough to engage in the sometimes difficult conversations.
• We celebrate each other’s triumphs, and offer comfort and compassion when it is needed.

No marriage is trouble-free, and I have to admit that our wedded bliss has been interrupted by occasional wedded blizzards. During these stormy times, it feels as if our marriage engine is not running on all cylinders. Something is off. Communication is stilted. Our relationship feels mechanical. It’s just not fun. Yet, during these temporary break-downs in our ability to connect, the love between us is unwavering. We value our partnership enough to invest in the hard work necessary to weather the occasional marital storm. Remarkably, we have hit only a few potholes along the way – and our relationship has always grown stronger in the aftermath.

Today’s 3-Word Wisdom – Nurture loving relationships. When you find your true love, be willing to do the work. Savor the bliss and be prepared for an occasional blizzard. Trust, communicate, compromise, celebrate, comfort, laugh, and enjoy the journey with your lover – your best friend.

Honeymoon 1974. Our adventure begins.

36 years and counting. Looking forward to the next 36!