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Sunday, January 20, 2019

My Future Is Not Yet Written....

It's time. Nine months since That Day, and I'm taking my thoughts to a new blog - TALES FROM THE (Widow) HOOD.  Please Subscribe, and follow my journey of rebirth and discovery.

This blog will continue as well. While widowhood has branded me, I refuse to let it define me. I am almost eight years into my journey through this decade. I hit a life changing speed bump, but I'm still belted in. Thank you for accompanying me!

Keep Calm and Widow On!

Thursday, January 10, 2019

The Book Of Paula - The Next Chapter

Something is happening. I’m feeling a change in the wind direction of my life...maybe it’s time.




George’s BEST friend must have sensed it too. Last night he sent me this message. I sobbed as I read it. I could feel George. I miss him so much. But I think I’m ready to begin the next chapter in “The Book of Paula”. Thank you, Barry...

“...My belief that you know a good (human) when you see one was personified by my lifelong friend George. We were two of the good ones who were great friends for 57 years.

I always claimed to be his best friend, but his tragic passing last year taught me not to think so highly of myself.

I was a good friend, but his wife of 43 years clearly was his best friend who had her years of past happiness come crashing down last April, simultaneously collapsing the path of future happiness that she had envisioned. Past and future all put asunder in one awful moment.

But as sure as we emerge from the cold dark nothingness of the universe into this life, so do we all return to the place from which we came. Each of our lifetimes is but a book of chapters in the story of life.

Just as certainly as there were many wonderful chapters in the Book of George, most of which coincided with wonderful chapters in the Book of Paula, the Book of Paula now continues to be written.

As the chapter on loss and grief comes to a close it is exciting to envision the possibles for more happy chapters to come.

Such a wonderful person, surrounded by wonderful people would seem destined to find a new happiness in the yet untold chapters of her life.

Be happy with yourself, try not to waste a tear.
Find happiness with your loved ones, that is why we’re here.

Cherish all you thought was golden, let all else be forgot.
Marvel at past and future in the eyes of your grand little tots.

Be happy for what was, be hopeful for what will be.
You can’t know what the future holds, you’ll just have to wait and see.”


I think I’m ready. And I expect more tears. Every day. More firsts lay dead ahead. His Birthday. Valentine's Day. My Birthday. Tears still fall daily. In this next chapter in the Book of Paula, I hope the tears water my new garden of life. I know it's what George would want. It's time to Bloom.