As much as I loved both of my parents, my mother was probably the one person who made the biggest impact on my life. Her influence was not the result of an overbearing presence. There were no lectures. I don’t remember a cross word or unkind comment. She was friendly, tolerant, and intelligent - and she had a wicked sense of humor. Mom’s love was unconditional, and she and Dad always trusted me to make the right decision. As a teenager, my biggest deterrent to the temptation of “breaking the rules” was not the fear of making my parents mad – much worse was the thought of letting my parents down. As an adult, when faced with a difficult decision, I often asked myself, “What would Mom have done?”
Mom was considerably older than my friend's mothers, and I went through a period during my early childhood when I was ashamed of my parent's gray hair and seniority compared to my classmates. Children can be cruel, and I was embarrassed when kids would call my parents old - or shopkeepers would address them as my grandparents. I adored Mother and Daddy, and was conflicted with the love I felt for them, and my secret desire for them to be younger. Thankfully this period was not long-lived, and some of the tales became the stuff of funny family lore in later years. Yet, as a young adult, their advanced age had a more profound impact on me - when I faced the reality of their mortality - and realized that they would likely not live to see my young family grow.
I was in my early thirties when Mom died. I was not ready for her to go. We thought she was in the hospital to be healed, yet she never came home. I visited her on the day that was to be her last – yet I didn’t know that the casual peck on the cheek was going to my final kiss goodbye. I had so much more to learn from her - so much to thank her for. The first few years she was gone were the most difficult, and more than once – when I had great news to share – my first instinct was to call Mom. Her absence from my life left a huge void. Mom has been gone for 26 years, and I still miss her. Yet she is always with me, as I continue to reflect upon her as my model of a truly beautiful person.
Today’s 3-Word Wisdom: Call your mother. If you are fortunate to still have your mom in your life, make time to let her know you care. Savor the time you have with her and show your appreciation for the lessons she has taught you. To my dear nieces and friends who also lost their mothers too soon, I can never replace her, but will always be here to offer “motherly” advice. That’s what Mom would have done.
Mom was considerably older than my friend's mothers, and I went through a period during my early childhood when I was ashamed of my parent's gray hair and seniority compared to my classmates. Children can be cruel, and I was embarrassed when kids would call my parents old - or shopkeepers would address them as my grandparents. I adored Mother and Daddy, and was conflicted with the love I felt for them, and my secret desire for them to be younger. Thankfully this period was not long-lived, and some of the tales became the stuff of funny family lore in later years. Yet, as a young adult, their advanced age had a more profound impact on me - when I faced the reality of their mortality - and realized that they would likely not live to see my young family grow.
I was in my early thirties when Mom died. I was not ready for her to go. We thought she was in the hospital to be healed, yet she never came home. I visited her on the day that was to be her last – yet I didn’t know that the casual peck on the cheek was going to my final kiss goodbye. I had so much more to learn from her - so much to thank her for. The first few years she was gone were the most difficult, and more than once – when I had great news to share – my first instinct was to call Mom. Her absence from my life left a huge void. Mom has been gone for 26 years, and I still miss her. Yet she is always with me, as I continue to reflect upon her as my model of a truly beautiful person.
Today’s 3-Word Wisdom: Call your mother. If you are fortunate to still have your mom in your life, make time to let her know you care. Savor the time you have with her and show your appreciation for the lessons she has taught you. To my dear nieces and friends who also lost their mothers too soon, I can never replace her, but will always be here to offer “motherly” advice. That’s what Mom would have done.
 |
| Dad, Paula and Mom, 1955 |
 |
| I love you , Mom. Frances Maxwell Coats Preston 1908 - 1984 |
Once again you have brought tears to my eyes. I love your blogs.
ReplyDeleteI remember your Mom she was a great person, one thing i will always remember is visiting your parents when they lived in weed Calif.
ReplyDelete