Who Are Your Penguins?

It began with a Christmas gift from one friend to three others about 15 years ago. Matching pins – each one a sterling silver penguin with abalone inlay. This was a step up from our usual gift exchange of decorative lemon zesters and scented candles, and it begged the question – did I miss the memo about the increased gift price limit?



The Pin

I wasn’t alone in my surprise. Three of the four of us were feeling a bit guilty about our presents soon to be opened – cute cocktail napkins, festive cheese spreaders, and gingerbread man coffee mugs!  Our friend had some explaining to do, but first she had one more gift to bestow– in a red silk pouch. The last gift was another pin – this one a group of three penguins – in stunning black coral and mother of pearl. With this pin came the story that has bonded us for years, and has seen us through the most challenging moments of our lives.

Why penguins? Our friend had done her research. In Emperor penguin society, huddling is a survival method. In the frigid arctic winters, penguins form tight groups to protect each other and to conserve body heat. The penguins constantly maneuver themselves from the outside to the inside of the huddle in order for each to have the warmth and protection necessary to conserve energy and avoid starvation or death. The individual penguin pins would become beautiful additions to our personal jewelry collections, but the three-penguin pin would belong to all of us – its next keeper to be determined by whoever currently had the pin in her possession. In our friendship foursome, the Penguin Pin would be symbolic of our “huddle” – if you received it, you knew that whatever challenge you were facing, your penguins were with you, in a huddle, keeping you warm and safe and loved.

I have a particular fondness for my penguin pals, because in this circle I am the baby penguin – P4 – and P1, P2, and P3 are going out of their way to welcome me into their decade! Our huddle has protected every one of us at some time over the years since P1’s original gift was shared. There is no meeting of the minds or timeline to determine when and to whom The Pin should be passed. We penguins know when someone is in need of being in the center of the huddle, and over the years The Pin has been with each one of us when we needed it the most. The Pin spent the better part of 2010 with P3 – huddling with her as she fought her battle with breast cancer. The Pin saw her through lumpectomies, mastectomies and chemo. If one of the penguins was not physically with P3 during her battle, our symbolic huddle never left her side.

There are also times when The Pin celebrates some of the best penguin moments. When P2 and her husband celebrated their 40^th anniversary with a renewal of their wedding vows, we offered to be her bridesmaids (as the baby penguin, I volunteered to be the flower girl). After lots of wine and laughter, we assured P2 that we would opt for a less obvious inclusion in the ceremony, and presented her with The Pin. We pinned it to her bouquet and “walked” down the aisle with her. It is one of my favorite penguin memories.

In January, after my first blog post admitting my struggles with turning 60, my penguins and I huddled over more wine – another method we use to keep warm – and I confided some of my fears, my regrets and my lowest moments that had taken me to that dark place I mentioned in my earlier post. I realized that I had felt like the penguin on the outer fringe of the huddle, shivering in the cold, fearing my future. Thankfully I had shaken off the negativity and was ready to embrace 60 – which, they reminded me, was not a death sentence! Not long afterward, I found the unmistakable red silk pouch on my dresser. There it was. The Pin. P3 was on her way to recovery and she had quietly passed the huddle to P4 – the penguins had my back.

One benefit of super adulthood is the wealth of memories you can savor - experiences shared with the most important people in your life. My circle of extraordinary friends and family extends beyond The Penguins, and I can not imagine this journey that has been my life without them sharing it with me. To those of you who haven’t already done so, celebrate the penguins in your life. Keep them close, treasure them, and be there when they need warmth, love and support. Thank you family, friends and my penguins - you are a magnificent huddle!

Junior Penguins



Colorful Penguins



Playful Penguins