Life Lessons from Lucy - An Old Dog's Wisdom

Hello readers (aka family and friends!). A lot of life has happened since I began my journey into "super adulthood". My adventures continue, and I have made a promise to myself to share them in the weeks and months ahead. 

Today, one of the saddest moments that a pet owner must endure prompted my return to blogging. We had to say goodbye to our wonderful girl Lucy. Writing helps me heal, and the following post is my tribute to Sweet Miss Lucy.... 

She must have been a beautiful baby. I can imagine a creamy blonde bundle of fluff, small for her breed, and likely the most mellow of her litter. A precious Golden Retriever who would have brought joy to any family. Instead she became breeding bitch G-75 - according to her ear tattoo - and was doomed to life in a cage at a puppy mill. A commodity - the canine incubator of profitable pups as beautiful and kind as their mother. If not for the expensive C-section needed to deliver her last litter, G-75’s story would have ended differently. Instead, that C-section led her to us. Lucy’s life truly began when she picked us as her family. 

Lucy made every day better. She was perfect, and we are heartbroken that she is gone. But sweet Miss Lucy has left us with some important life lessons. Our old dog taught us a lot about how to live one’s days....

Never say never

Hubby and I had been a dog-free household for five years. We were never going to have another dog. After our last Golden, Tracy, died suddenly, the pain of her loss was something we could not imagine going through again. But I was ready. So was hubby. We opted for a rescue and began the process of adoption. Within 3 weeks, I saw her on the list of available Goldens. Saved from the shelter where she had been discarded. They had named G-75 Julie Lynn, and we knew she was The One! She was our Lucy.

Forget the past, find joy in the present

Lucy’s first life must have been horrific. Yet, except for a couple of avoidable phobias - the sound of rustling plastic bags, water from the hose - she was extraordinarily calm, kind, and friendly to every dog, cat, kid and creature she ever met. Every day we could feel Lucy’s appreciation for the life we gave her - it was in her eyes, in her very presence. Lucy was content in the present - so were we!

Live and let live

Nothing riled Lucy, including our wild backyard bunnies! Over the years, the past Hultman pooches gave them a run for their money...and sadly, they provided an occasional bunny meal. Not Miss Lucy. They learned quickly that she had no interest in chasing their little cotton tails. It was comical to see them happily grazing on the grass nearby as Lucy found her perfect pee spot - which never overlapped with their nightly salad greens! 

Uphill battles are worth the effort

We had to teach Lucy a lot - puppy mills are void of stairs, car rides, toys and no pee zones! Each night’s journey upstairs to bed began with her thoughtful navigation of 14 steps. We could “see” her brain at work...”Okay, take one step up with one front paw....now another....hmm, now one step with the opposite hind leg...that’s it! Now repeat with the other front, other back and so on, and so on”.....every night for almost 5 years, we beamed like proud parents when she made it upstairs to the bedroom and her favorite spot on my side of the bed. Even in her weakest state, she insisted on fighting her upstairs battle, and slept peacefully with her people.

Greet your loved ones with glee

Coming home today, we felt the void as we drove up our long driveway. I was with Lucy most of the time (the luxury of working from home), but if left outside, she would wait patiently on the side yard, under the shade of the lemon tree until we returned. We delighted in finding her gazing attentively as we turned in the driveway, perking up once she confirmed our arrival - then dashing to the other side of the yard to gleefully bark her “Welcome Back - I’m so glad you are home!” Homecomings were filled with joy!

Live life with wags not growls

Lucy never, never, ever growled. Never! She feared no one, and assumed everyone loved her as much as we did. She actually loved the company of people more than pups! Dog park visits were less fun to Lucy than our favorite breakfast spot, where we were known as “Lucy, party of 3.” We would wait patiently for our table, and she would wag her tail and gently tug on her leash to get closer to those seated nearby. She was an unofficial therapy dog, and a kind lady once said, “I feel better just by seeing her.” She had that effect on people. 

Face life’s challenges with grace 

Lucy’s “G-75” years left her physically weakened. She wasn't strong enough to jump or stand on her hind legs, and tore her doggie ACL shortly after we got her. She endured surgery, steel plates, and 8 weeks confined to a small indoor space, followed by physical therapy until she could take walks again. Lucy handled the ordeal with calm resolve - and only a few whimpers. It was her first battle - and sadly not her last - and with each one, her tail wagged, she loved her doctors, and faced each and every  battle- including the last - with her Lucy spirit intact.

Our sweet girl was a special gentle spirit, and we feel blessed beyond words to have filled her final years with the love she deserved. It was an honor to share Lucy with so many, who were somehow drawn to her when in her presence. While the pain we feel today is hard to bear, we will be forever grateful that she found us. 

Sweet dreams, Sweet Baby Girl. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHXFRGwjSzU

Our old dog, Lucy. We will cherish every memory with our sweet girl.
Rescued April 19, 2010
Crossed the Rainbow Bridge January 26, 2015

Sorry, honey. It's not a Hallmark

July 6, 1974 - in all of its '70's splendor!

July 6 marks a very special date in our family history. On this date 37 years ago, Hubby and I vowed to love and to cherish each other in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live. We left for our honeymoon that evening after a wonderful reception - the first night spent at a hotel airport - and headed to Hawaii the next day. My big, strong, and self-assured Hubby lived with his parents up until the day we wed, and had to call his mother from the hotel that first night to ask where his wallet was - my man’s mom had packed his suitcase for his first ever plane trip with his first ever wife! We returned two weeks later, discovered what it was like to live together, and have been cherishing each other ever since.

37 years equals 37 anniversaries - skillfully marketed with increasingly expensive symbolic gifts - paper, wood, crystal, silver - and eventually the Golden 50 and Diamond 60th. Hubby has typically ignored such “foolish” traditions, and often chose to mark many July 6th’s with diamonds, rubies and emeralds, oh my! We frequently relived our honeymoon with trips to Hawaii, and recounted our years together while strolling our favorite beaches and toasting life together at our favorite barefoot bar. Such wonderful memories, celebrating our good fortune of finding “the one” all those years ago.

How are we celebrating the Big 3-7? The best way we know how - by being together. After so many memorable anniversary gifts and excursions, we still find pure joy in simply spending time in each other’s company - no gifts required, no trip necessary. Every day is a celebration of our wedding day.

There has been one constant in our 37 years - the Anniversary Card. You know the ones on the top rows in the card stores, with embossed flowers or silouhettes of adoring couples strolling hand-in-hand along the beach at sunset. A college graduate who is probably grateful to have put his English major to practical use, fills the pages with words intended to express the card giver’s everlasting love - and amazement - that the couple has managed to survive all of marriage’s ups and downs, and each other!

Personally, I am not a fan of mushy card sentiments and often opt for the alternate humorous variety. Hubby, on the other hand, is the card master. His gift is not in finding the perfect card – it is what he puts inside.  He fills the entire inner leaf with his personal reflections - words that no Hallmark writer could touch! I love Hubby’s cards, and have a hope chest filled with 36 anniversary messages, carefully written, and representative of our extraordinary marriage. They mean as much to me as the diamonds, rubies and emeralds.

Honey, I am sorry to say that I didn’t get you a card this year. However, I have a good excuse - I was writing my blog! Instead of standing a piece of folded cardstock on the mantle this year, I am sharng my love for you with you and all of my “followers”. Paula is shouting from the rooftop, “I Love My Hubby!” And I did the math....here’s to our 37th. I have loved every 1.17 billion seconds of it! Now, on to 38!

July 6, 1974 - July 6, 2011

13,514 Days

324,336 Hours

19,460,160 Minutes

1,167,609,600 Seconds

Happy Anniversary to the man who still makes every day a gift.

I love you more than words can say.

Mother/Daughter Weekends

After my two month hiatus, I’m back to blogging. I confess that I have missed my daily writing date with my laptop. Not that I ever put the computer away. On the contrary, Hubby surprised me with my first Mac laptop for my birthday - we have evolved into that point in our marriage when I am as thrilled with the gift of a  MacBook as I used to be with a diamond tennis bracelet. Yet, since my 30 posts in 30 days personal challenge, I have struggled finding a theme for my future posts. My list of blog topics is long, yet random - and the organizer in me felt the need to tie it all up with some sort of all-encompassing theme. What I have come to accept is that my 60 year old brain is better equipped to deal with stream of consciousness missives and observations on small subjects rather than deep thoughts. Maybe at some point, the big picture take-aways will reveal themselves.  For now, thank you for joining me on this next exploration of life at 60....

Daughter, Son’s fiancé, and I are headed to the desert and the closest poolside lounge chair for a few days of....well....nothing! The beauty of this trip is that there is no itinerary, other than being together. Our biggest decision will be which SPF factor sunscreen to use (my years of unabashed sun-“baking” warrant the use of  SPF 1000+, a spot under an umbrella and a huge brimmed hat!).

Daughter and I began the tradition of our Palm Springs trips when she was in middle school. In those days, my role was relegated to that of chauffeur and financier - driving, and doling out dollars for entertainment that kept Daughter and her invited guest occupied for our spring break get-aways. Occasionally my teaching instincts would kick in, and I would drag the unwilling duo to a local museum or historic landmark. The only way they tolerated these death marches into forced learning was my promise that miniature golf, movies or a happy meal awaited them at the end of their suffering. Pool time meant  that I was on high alert, surveying the area for the presence of teenage boys, and making sure that the waterplay remained G-rated.  Those spring break trips were memorable - and I came home exhausted and eager for everyone to be back in school!

Our mother/daughter dynamic changed the summer she graduated from high school. That year, our Palm Springs trip was not the well-planned, bring-a-friend, spring break adventure of years past. Daughter needed some time away from home to deal with one of life’s most painful experiences - a break-up - and our hastily planned getaway was designed to give me time to offer comfort, wisdom and reassurance. In the familiar surroundings of our favorite little hotel and quiet pool, we laughed, she cried, I shared stories of my break-ups - and our mother/daughter relationship evolved. I was still her mother - but for the first time in our relationship, my almost 18 year old daughter seemed to “get” that I had once been her age.

In those three days, we spent hours talking to each other instead of at each other, and rarely left the pool and the hotel grounds. Our last evening there, we took a stroll through the weekly street fair and looked for a place to have dinner.  As fate would have it, we chose a very popular Mexican Restaurant, Las Casuelas Terrazza, and were seated on the patio where live music filled the warm summer night air.  We were happy, and Daughter was in a better place than she had been when we left home. The band played one familiar song after another and I eventually felt compelled to grab Daughter and said, “Come on, let’s dance!”  For a moment, she resisted. “Dance with my mother? In public? Someone might see me!” But I insisted, and she reluctantly joined me - for one song. Then another. And another. We stayed on the dance floor for the rest of the evening. To this day, whenever we hear the song, What I Like About You, we find each other to share a dance together - reliving that moment in Palm Springs when we danced with wild abandon to the tune, knowing how much we meant to each other. It was magical!

It has been years since we have re-lived our Palm Springs girls trip, and this will be the first time that Son’s fiancé will be joining us. Daughter made the reservations at our little hotel this year, and requested our favorite room. The same band still plays at the same restaurant, and I guarantee that dancing will be involved. Our poolside conversation will include Fiancé’s wedding plans, and Daughter’s dreams with the wonderful man in her life. Happy Meals have been replaced with Happy Hours, and if I am lucky, I may get one of them to join me for a stroll to the nearby museum - or maybe we’ll just hang at the pool!

 

Mother and Daughter in Palm Springs - 2001. My surprise 50th birthday party. Dancing included!

3-Word Wisdom 30 - Enjoy each decade

I made it! I am 60 today– and guess what? It didn’t hurt a bit. I allowed myself to fret over this birthday – 60 happens, folks – and putting my feelings into words helped me to better understand myself. I am powerless over the number, yet I am in control of the contents of my life. I am determined to make my 60’s the best they can be.

How am I celebrating the actual date of my birth? I’m going to Disneyland!  Hubby and I had our second official date there back in 1971, and we still feel like kids in love at the happiest place on earth. For those who think it is utter foolishness for a pair of 60 year olds to traipse – sans children - around a theme park, let me offer my “Disneyland Metaphor for Life”. Strap on your mouse ears and let’s take a decade-by-decade tour of the magic kingdom…

Fantasyland is our magical childhood, where we “believe” with innocent, wide-eyed wonderment. We are dragon slayers and princesses (Hubby may argue that I still am!), and imagine flying like Peter Pan - protected from the scariest of villains by our corps of valiant heroes - and we find pure glee in the spin of a teacup!

Tomorrowland represents our turbulent teens when we look forward to our birthdays  - not for the year they represent - but for their marker toward what lies ahead...our adulthood and freedom! We are thrill seekers and dreamers – in a constant state of flux, like the dips and curves of Space Mountain. We drive the Autopia cars and imagine ourselves behind the wheel of our first set of wheels. During these years we question if tomorrow will ever come.

Welcome to Adventureland and our twenties. The world is our playground. We are choosing our own adventure – making our own decisions - beginning to take college and work seriously and realizing that the years of contemplating, “What will I be when I grow up?”, now requires a decision! Lifelong friendships and relationships are made, and we entertain thoughts of starting our own families. Our Jungle Cruise twenties offer lots of humor, a few waterfalls, and a wild night – or two! 

Our 30’s mark our visit to Frontierland – and for many, the new frontier of raising children. Parenthood is life's most important career. I am astonished that, as much as we prepare for every other aspect of adulthood, we enter our child-rearing days with very little knowledge on the subject. Kids don’t come with an instruction book – simply pre-charged batteries that never run out of energy. We are Davey Crockett charting a completely new territory, and our musket and ‘coon skin caps have been traded in for binkies and baby strollers.

We spend our 40’s in New Orleans Square. The kids have taken over our home, and the pantry has been pillaged -we are living with the Pirates of the Caribbean! We have morphed into our parents, and the kids are sure that we have no clue what it is like to be a teenager! We now worry about their curfews, and are careful not to let them know what we did in our youth because, God forbid, they may figure out that we are indeed human. We may need a drink now and then to survive their tests of independence – drink up me hearties, yo ho!

It’s time to enjoy our satisfied 50’s on good old Main Street – the kids are grown, our nest is empty and we find ourselves waxing nostalgic. We are once again in the favor of our children who actually ask for our advice! Life is filled with great memories of days gone by. Thankfully our minds mask all of the child-rearing drama beneath a lovely veil – even the trying moments are magically transformed into treasured memories.

Where will our 60's take us? I am looking forward to finding out! Hubby and I will ring in our next decade by reconnecting with our inner children – recalling visits with our nieces, nephews, and our children. Like Peter Pan, there is a part of us that never wants to grow up. We will immerse ourselves in unadulterated fun – and return tomorrow to reality and all that truly matters – with our unwavering commitment to making the world a better place. 

My final 3-word wisdom: Enjoy every decade. Life is a wonderful adventure - an "E-Ticket" ride filled with thrilling - and unexpected - twists and turns. Allow yourself to experience all that life has to offer.

Thank you all for taking this ride with me. Your comments, feedback and well-wishes have made my journey to 60 a treasured gift, and I am forever grateful for having you in my life. I survived "The 60's" of my youth - here's to living my 60's of super adulthood!

With sincere gratitude,

Paula

3-Word Wisdom 29: Seek your wisdom

With just two posts left to complete my “30 posts in 30 days toward 60” challenge, I am sad to be saying goodbye to my daily writing engagements with my laptop. When I began my “blog therapy” in January, I had no idea where it would take me - I was behind the wheel with no GPS directing me. I allowed myself to think (a lot!) about my life. In reading my posts I have confirmed what, in my heart, I already knew:

• I cherish my family and friends
• I need to love myself for who I am
• Each experience of my life – even the difficult ones - has contributed to the person I am
• I am happiest when giving back 

Writing has always helped me deal with my innermost feelings, and sharing my thoughts and experience with others helped me wrap my head around my birthday milestone and all of the anxiety that I had allowed myself to feel. My 3-Word Wisdom project was my way of pushing myself to look inwardly on a daily basis, and as it wraps up I feel a wonderful sense of accomplishment. I have tackled some very personal subject matter and shared a few never-before-told stories, and it has been liberating to “write out loud”.  My wisdom is just that – mine. Sharing it with you has been my personal journey of discovery. This has been Paula – unplugged!

Today’s 3-word wisdom. Seek your wisdom. Each of us has a lifetime of experiences – good, bad, and sometimes painful. Take time to reflect on your life and ask yourself how your journey has been shaped by the choices you have made and the people you have encountered. Let your self-discovery provide enlightenment into the person you are, and be honest with yourself – are you the person you want to be? By getting in touch with your personal wisdom, you will have an inner compass to help you through life’s best – and worst - moments. Here’s to your best life. I already have mine!

Here's to 60, and what life has in store!

3-Word Wisdom 28: Make a difference

Wow. The Big Day is now just 36 hours away. After the extravanganza of this past weekend, it is going to be rather anticlimactic! Hubby and I have made plans to do something special, and I am wondering what I will be doing with myself in the days afterward, when I wrap up my 3-word wisdom project. I have loved writing, and I like to think that there are more words in me. Maybe I will take a writing class and actually study the craft!

As I approach the end of my 30 posts in 30 days challenge, I have to make sure that I have shared the wisdom that is most important to me. It has taken me until the last hours of day 28 to get started with today’s thoughts, so I will have to keep this one short. Please don’t let the brevity in any way diminish its value. My wisdom can be best summed up in a quote by Anne Frank: “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

Today’s 3-word wisdom. Make a difference. Find your cause, identify your passion, and start today. Offer something of yourself that will make the world a better place. It is the greatest gift you have to offer - and the satisfaction is immeasurable. How are you making a difference?

3-Word Wisdom: Savor life's surprises

I am still in shock. Daughter, Son, Family and Friends were gathering at our house yesterday while we spent a carefully plotted diversionary trip to the wine country. As we made our way home and turned the corner onto our street, the sight was surreal - it took my breath away. There, lining each side of our very long driveway were over one hundred people to welcome us. SURPRISE!! Hubby and I arrived home from our fabulous wine tasting day to a surprise 60^th birthday party. A band played the Beatles Birthday Song – our family’s traditional birthday anthem. Caterers were cooking and a bartender was pouring drinks. Banquet tables, chairs, balloons, banners, and canopy shelters– a last minute necessity due to some uncooperative weather - filled the back yard. The home we had left in the morning had been transformed into a magnificent party venue, thanks to our wonderful children and the family and friends they enlisted to help.

Everyone asked, “Were you surprised?” Completely. Utterly. Totally. I did not want a party when Daughter asked about having some people over next weekend. We had plans for a future night out with the kids and that sounded perfect. Besides, I felt that people were really over my Big Day after so much self-indulgent blogging. Little did I know what had been in the works for months!

I was stunned, as was Hubby, who was also kept completely in the dark. This was OUR 60^th birthday party. We laughed and cried, hugged and danced - and apparently our neighbors called to police - at 8:00 pm - because we were making too much noise! It took 60 years to have someone call the cops on me – I am officially rowdy! 

I am still trying to wrap my head around the entire night, letting it all sink in. Photos were being taken and I am looking forward to reliving the night - it was all quite a blur! I want to say something profound to describe the sheer joy and gratitude I feel for the people who have filled my heart with love, but it will take some time to find the words. Thank you is not enough, but for now, it’s all I've got! This is Paula – Speechless.

Today’s 3-word Wisdom - Savor life’s surprises. We spend the majority of our life carefully planning and executing our days. If you are the recipient of an unexpected kindness – no matter how large or small – enjoy the surprise. And remember to say thank you – even when you are left speechless.




Friend & family gauntlet awaits our arrival

If only you could see our faces from inside the car!

Daughter looks relieved to have pulled of such a surprise!