3-Word Wisdom 30 - Enjoy each decade

I made it! I am 60 today– and guess what? It didn’t hurt a bit. I allowed myself to fret over this birthday – 60 happens, folks – and putting my feelings into words helped me to better understand myself. I am powerless over the number, yet I am in control of the contents of my life. I am determined to make my 60’s the best they can be.

How am I celebrating the actual date of my birth? I’m going to Disneyland!  Hubby and I had our second official date there back in 1971, and we still feel like kids in love at the happiest place on earth. For those who think it is utter foolishness for a pair of 60 year olds to traipse – sans children - around a theme park, let me offer my “Disneyland Metaphor for Life”. Strap on your mouse ears and let’s take a decade-by-decade tour of the magic kingdom…

Fantasyland is our magical childhood, where we “believe” with innocent, wide-eyed wonderment. We are dragon slayers and princesses (Hubby may argue that I still am!), and imagine flying like Peter Pan - protected from the scariest of villains by our corps of valiant heroes - and we find pure glee in the spin of a teacup!

Tomorrowland represents our turbulent teens when we look forward to our birthdays  - not for the year they represent - but for their marker toward what lies ahead...our adulthood and freedom! We are thrill seekers and dreamers – in a constant state of flux, like the dips and curves of Space Mountain. We drive the Autopia cars and imagine ourselves behind the wheel of our first set of wheels. During these years we question if tomorrow will ever come.

Welcome to Adventureland and our twenties. The world is our playground. We are choosing our own adventure – making our own decisions - beginning to take college and work seriously and realizing that the years of contemplating, “What will I be when I grow up?”, now requires a decision! Lifelong friendships and relationships are made, and we entertain thoughts of starting our own families. Our Jungle Cruise twenties offer lots of humor, a few waterfalls, and a wild night – or two! 

Our 30’s mark our visit to Frontierland – and for many, the new frontier of raising children. Parenthood is life's most important career. I am astonished that, as much as we prepare for every other aspect of adulthood, we enter our child-rearing days with very little knowledge on the subject. Kids don’t come with an instruction book – simply pre-charged batteries that never run out of energy. We are Davey Crockett charting a completely new territory, and our musket and ‘coon skin caps have been traded in for binkies and baby strollers.

We spend our 40’s in New Orleans Square. The kids have taken over our home, and the pantry has been pillaged -we are living with the Pirates of the Caribbean! We have morphed into our parents, and the kids are sure that we have no clue what it is like to be a teenager! We now worry about their curfews, and are careful not to let them know what we did in our youth because, God forbid, they may figure out that we are indeed human. We may need a drink now and then to survive their tests of independence – drink up me hearties, yo ho!

It’s time to enjoy our satisfied 50’s on good old Main Street – the kids are grown, our nest is empty and we find ourselves waxing nostalgic. We are once again in the favor of our children who actually ask for our advice! Life is filled with great memories of days gone by. Thankfully our minds mask all of the child-rearing drama beneath a lovely veil – even the trying moments are magically transformed into treasured memories.

Where will our 60's take us? I am looking forward to finding out! Hubby and I will ring in our next decade by reconnecting with our inner children – recalling visits with our nieces, nephews, and our children. Like Peter Pan, there is a part of us that never wants to grow up. We will immerse ourselves in unadulterated fun – and return tomorrow to reality and all that truly matters – with our unwavering commitment to making the world a better place. 

My final 3-word wisdom: Enjoy every decade. Life is a wonderful adventure - an "E-Ticket" ride filled with thrilling - and unexpected - twists and turns. Allow yourself to experience all that life has to offer.

Thank you all for taking this ride with me. Your comments, feedback and well-wishes have made my journey to 60 a treasured gift, and I am forever grateful for having you in my life. I survived "The 60's" of my youth - here's to living my 60's of super adulthood!

With sincere gratitude,

Paula

3-Word Wisdom 29: Seek your wisdom

With just two posts left to complete my “30 posts in 30 days toward 60” challenge, I am sad to be saying goodbye to my daily writing engagements with my laptop. When I began my “blog therapy” in January, I had no idea where it would take me - I was behind the wheel with no GPS directing me. I allowed myself to think (a lot!) about my life. In reading my posts I have confirmed what, in my heart, I already knew:

• I cherish my family and friends
• I need to love myself for who I am
• Each experience of my life – even the difficult ones - has contributed to the person I am
• I am happiest when giving back 

Writing has always helped me deal with my innermost feelings, and sharing my thoughts and experience with others helped me wrap my head around my birthday milestone and all of the anxiety that I had allowed myself to feel. My 3-Word Wisdom project was my way of pushing myself to look inwardly on a daily basis, and as it wraps up I feel a wonderful sense of accomplishment. I have tackled some very personal subject matter and shared a few never-before-told stories, and it has been liberating to “write out loud”.  My wisdom is just that – mine. Sharing it with you has been my personal journey of discovery. This has been Paula – unplugged!

Today’s 3-word wisdom. Seek your wisdom. Each of us has a lifetime of experiences – good, bad, and sometimes painful. Take time to reflect on your life and ask yourself how your journey has been shaped by the choices you have made and the people you have encountered. Let your self-discovery provide enlightenment into the person you are, and be honest with yourself – are you the person you want to be? By getting in touch with your personal wisdom, you will have an inner compass to help you through life’s best – and worst - moments. Here’s to your best life. I already have mine!

Here's to 60, and what life has in store!

3-Word Wisdom 28: Make a difference

Wow. The Big Day is now just 36 hours away. After the extravanganza of this past weekend, it is going to be rather anticlimactic! Hubby and I have made plans to do something special, and I am wondering what I will be doing with myself in the days afterward, when I wrap up my 3-word wisdom project. I have loved writing, and I like to think that there are more words in me. Maybe I will take a writing class and actually study the craft!

As I approach the end of my 30 posts in 30 days challenge, I have to make sure that I have shared the wisdom that is most important to me. It has taken me until the last hours of day 28 to get started with today’s thoughts, so I will have to keep this one short. Please don’t let the brevity in any way diminish its value. My wisdom can be best summed up in a quote by Anne Frank: “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

Today’s 3-word wisdom. Make a difference. Find your cause, identify your passion, and start today. Offer something of yourself that will make the world a better place. It is the greatest gift you have to offer - and the satisfaction is immeasurable. How are you making a difference?

3-Word Wisdom: Savor life's surprises

I am still in shock. Daughter, Son, Family and Friends were gathering at our house yesterday while we spent a carefully plotted diversionary trip to the wine country. As we made our way home and turned the corner onto our street, the sight was surreal - it took my breath away. There, lining each side of our very long driveway were over one hundred people to welcome us. SURPRISE!! Hubby and I arrived home from our fabulous wine tasting day to a surprise 60^th birthday party. A band played the Beatles Birthday Song – our family’s traditional birthday anthem. Caterers were cooking and a bartender was pouring drinks. Banquet tables, chairs, balloons, banners, and canopy shelters– a last minute necessity due to some uncooperative weather - filled the back yard. The home we had left in the morning had been transformed into a magnificent party venue, thanks to our wonderful children and the family and friends they enlisted to help.

Everyone asked, “Were you surprised?” Completely. Utterly. Totally. I did not want a party when Daughter asked about having some people over next weekend. We had plans for a future night out with the kids and that sounded perfect. Besides, I felt that people were really over my Big Day after so much self-indulgent blogging. Little did I know what had been in the works for months!

I was stunned, as was Hubby, who was also kept completely in the dark. This was OUR 60^th birthday party. We laughed and cried, hugged and danced - and apparently our neighbors called to police - at 8:00 pm - because we were making too much noise! It took 60 years to have someone call the cops on me – I am officially rowdy! 

I am still trying to wrap my head around the entire night, letting it all sink in. Photos were being taken and I am looking forward to reliving the night - it was all quite a blur! I want to say something profound to describe the sheer joy and gratitude I feel for the people who have filled my heart with love, but it will take some time to find the words. Thank you is not enough, but for now, it’s all I've got! This is Paula – Speechless.

Today’s 3-word Wisdom - Savor life’s surprises. We spend the majority of our life carefully planning and executing our days. If you are the recipient of an unexpected kindness – no matter how large or small – enjoy the surprise. And remember to say thank you – even when you are left speechless.




Friend & family gauntlet awaits our arrival

If only you could see our faces from inside the car!

Daughter looks relieved to have pulled of such a surprise!

3-Word Wisdom 26: Enjoy life's detours

This is it. I have officially proclaimed today as the beginning of my birthday “week”! I am putting on a cute new pair of boots, my skinny jeans and a great top, and we are headed off to the wine country with friends today to get my party started. If I had a birthday hat and noisemaker, I would announce to the world that this is Paula at 60! Let the fun begin!

For those of you who have been kind enough to follow my blog from its inception, you can clearly see that I am in a much better frame of mind about this milestone than I was back in January. I have to say that the act of sharing some deeply personal stories and innermost feelings has helped me get in touch with Super Adult Paula – and guess what – I really like her! She is fun to be around. She is so appreciative of the love and support of her friends and family. She is proud of the life she has led, and is determined to continue to make a difference in the world. She is dancing her way into the next decade. Super Adult Paula is a really great broad!

Spending the past three months in my self-absorbed blogosphere was, in effect, my prescription for dealing with some serious negativity that had invaded my usually upbeat nature.Writing required me to think hard about the person I am, the life I have led, and the path that I want to take for the remainder of my days. My meltdown was a small bump in the road – and if left unchecked, could have taken me dangerously off course - but I persevered. Now it’s time to rock my 60’s! Actually, my Big Day isn't until March 30, but I am ready to be 60 NOW! I have so much to look forward to and will let all the young ‘uns know what the view is like from from my new vantage point!

Today’s 3-word wisdom – Enjoy life’s detours. Don’t let an unexpected change in course deter you from your final destination. As long as you know where you’re headed, your inner compass will steer you in the right direction. Your detour may take you over some challenging mountains and unpaved roads, so let these be valuable lessons. You may be surprised by what you learn about yourself along the way!

Birthday girl, 1957





3-Word Wisdom 25: Share your knowledge

When my children were young, I did my best to provide thoughtful answers their relentless questions. I was a teacher after all, and I prided myself on having an explanation for every inquiry they threw my way. When Daughter questioned the spelling of her name – others with the same name used the customary spelling – I managed to convince her that hers was the phonetically correct version, and her like-named friends were the victims of an unfortunate misspelling. I loved the challenge of providing an answer to their queries, and in time was regarded by the kids and their friends as the 80’s and 90’s’s equivalent of Wikipedia. Thankfully their questions were usually not math related, and I was masterful at deflecting the unanswerable ones by redirecting them with a question of my own…. “Why to you think the ocean water is blue in Hawaii and green in California?” I was good!

Of course, even the best and the brightest - and those of us who pretend we are - have a few gaps in our information stores. Occasionally I was at a loss to provide an acceptable response to one of Son or Daughter’s questions. I needed an escape clause, and I came up with the perfect disclaimer. I declared that there were "17 things" that I didn’t know. From that point forward, when their question had me stumped, the kids were delighted. “That’s one of the 17 things!” they would exclaim. What followed were great moments of discovery as we shared the joy of learning something new - together. The kids relished the opportunity to uncover one of the 17 things, and with such a random number, I managed to retain my dignity – and my title as the uber-super-answer mom - long enough to survive the Childhood Inquisition. Of course, as they each reached the age of seventeen, Son and Daughter concluded that I actually knew nothing. I can now confirm that understanding the psyche of teenagers is definitely one of the 17 things that I did not know!

My now adult children still come to Hubby and me with questions – about life, love and careers. They no longer need answers, but thankfully, they value our perspective. They are charting their own courses now, and I cherish our conversations. If they ask me a question, I will share my knowledge and experience – but not necessarily an answer - that is now up to them.

Today’s 3-word wisdom: Share your knowledge. Life is filled with teachable moments, and each of us is an educator. Cherish the inquisitive children in your life and help them discover the wonders of the world around them.

Daughter and Son, when they thought Mom knew everything!

3-Word Wisdom 24: Adopt a pet

Hubby and I are dog people. My wedding dowry was my dog, a yellow lab mix that I named Kitty. Hubby, Kitty and I were a happy family of three, and when Son and Daughter came into the world, she was their attentive guardian and loyal playmate. Kitty went to dog heaven 12 years later, and it took only three weeks before we had another pet in our lives. Our Golden Retrievers Katie, Spencer, Tracy and Bear eventually joined the family, and shared all of our special moments over the years. As each one crossed their rainbow bridge, we tearfully said our goodbyes, gently stroking our beloved “kids” as our vet administered the injection that would release them from their suffering. When our last Golden, Tracy, left us, Hubby declared that we would not get another pet – losing them was simply too difficult.

We would remain a pet-free family for five years…..except for our neighbor’s Golden, Bogie, who became a daily visitor– and helped us through our lost pet grieving process for those years. Last year Bogie’s amazing14 year journey ended – our neighbor came to our doorstep to tearfully deliver the news - and we suddenly felt the void of being completely without the company of man’s best friend. It was time for me to confront Hubby’s no-more-dogs mandate with an ultimatum of my own….we were going to get a pet – or else! Within days, our search began. We opted to rescue a Golden Retriever, and last April we adopted Lucy, from Southern California Golden Retriever Rescue. Take a minute to watch the video of some of the dogs they recently rescued from Taiwan. If Hubby has his way, Lucy may soon have a playmate!

Lucy’s backstory is not complete, but what we do know is that she was a puppy mill breeding machine who was dumped at the pound when her puppy bearing years were over. She must have lived in a small kennel with no toys – only her puppies to mother – and no room to jump or play. She had to learn how to climb our stairs, and has no jump instinct, likely due to her confinement in cramped quarters for the first six years of her life. No amount of coaxing will entice her to hop up on the couch for a cuddle - and in hindsight this may be a blessing, considering her abundance of expendable fur! In the eleven months with us, Lucy is slowly discovering her “inner dog”. She looks forward to her walks and has a basket full of soft plush toys – her “babies”- that she nuzzles and carries from room to room. She has discovered tennis balls, but is not quite sure what to do with them once she captures one. Lucy is my constant companion, and as hard as it will be to lose her someday, Hubby and I know that in her time with us, we are giving her the life she has always deserved. We love Lucy!

Today’s 3-Word Wisdom: Adopt a pet. There so many animals in need of a loving home, and while they may not be able to tell you, their soulful eyes will convey their gratitude for your kindness. There is no greater feeling than the loving wag – or contented purr – of a rescued pet.

Our sweet rescue girl, Lucy