We had a great life together. From the day we officially met 50 years ago, we were friends at first sight. July 6 would have marked our 44th anniversary. I will celebrate that date forever.I’m awake at 4:15 in the morning imagining you downstairs, watching old TV reruns from your chair. I hear your voice. I see your big broad shoulders. your duck footed walk -just like your dad. My head is on the pillow you insisted we bring to the hospital. Where I said goodbye. Where they gently removed and handed me your rings - even the wedding band that hadn’t been off your finger since the 90’s. It’s now around my neck on the chain and locket you gave me for my birthday a few weeks ago. I’m clutching them and imagining they’re still on your big strong hands.
I wasn’t ready to say goodbye so soon my love. It’s not the happy ending we had assumed was in our future. But I know I made the decision you would have wanted.
You were so so so loved! You cried often these past few months, seeing the outpouring of support, and realizing for the first time how many people cared deeply about you. You told me more than once the biggest compliment anybody could pay you was to say you were honest, generous and fair. You were all that and so much more.
I’m so sad. I’m afraid. Already missing you so much that it’s hard to breathe. I know your biggest concern when you found out you were sick was how hard it was going to be on the kids and me Once again you only thought about others.
Georgie I love you. I will always love you. We had such a beautiful and wonderful life together. Scott, Alison the grandkids and I will stay strong - #kahunastrong - because that’s what you would want us to do. We will also laugh loudly, dance happily, give freely -and forever bleed Dodger blue! They won last night. For you!!!
Until we meet again. Please come visit me in my dreams as often as you can.
I am forever your Lovely Paula Marie.
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