Mother/Daughter Weekends

After my two month hiatus, I’m back to blogging. I confess that I have missed my daily writing date with my laptop. Not that I ever put the computer away. On the contrary, Hubby surprised me with my first Mac laptop for my birthday - we have evolved into that point in our marriage when I am as thrilled with the gift of a  MacBook as I used to be with a diamond tennis bracelet. Yet, since my 30 posts in 30 days personal challenge, I have struggled finding a theme for my future posts. My list of blog topics is long, yet random - and the organizer in me felt the need to tie it all up with some sort of all-encompassing theme. What I have come to accept is that my 60 year old brain is better equipped to deal with stream of consciousness missives and observations on small subjects rather than deep thoughts. Maybe at some point, the big picture take-aways will reveal themselves.  For now, thank you for joining me on this next exploration of life at 60....

Daughter, Son’s fiancé, and I are headed to the desert and the closest poolside lounge chair for a few days of....well....nothing! The beauty of this trip is that there is no itinerary, other than being together. Our biggest decision will be which SPF factor sunscreen to use (my years of unabashed sun-“baking” warrant the use of  SPF 1000+, a spot under an umbrella and a huge brimmed hat!).

Daughter and I began the tradition of our Palm Springs trips when she was in middle school. In those days, my role was relegated to that of chauffeur and financier - driving, and doling out dollars for entertainment that kept Daughter and her invited guest occupied for our spring break get-aways. Occasionally my teaching instincts would kick in, and I would drag the unwilling duo to a local museum or historic landmark. The only way they tolerated these death marches into forced learning was my promise that miniature golf, movies or a happy meal awaited them at the end of their suffering. Pool time meant  that I was on high alert, surveying the area for the presence of teenage boys, and making sure that the waterplay remained G-rated.  Those spring break trips were memorable - and I came home exhausted and eager for everyone to be back in school!

Our mother/daughter dynamic changed the summer she graduated from high school. That year, our Palm Springs trip was not the well-planned, bring-a-friend, spring break adventure of years past. Daughter needed some time away from home to deal with one of life’s most painful experiences - a break-up - and our hastily planned getaway was designed to give me time to offer comfort, wisdom and reassurance. In the familiar surroundings of our favorite little hotel and quiet pool, we laughed, she cried, I shared stories of my break-ups - and our mother/daughter relationship evolved. I was still her mother - but for the first time in our relationship, my almost 18 year old daughter seemed to “get” that I had once been her age.

In those three days, we spent hours talking to each other instead of at each other, and rarely left the pool and the hotel grounds. Our last evening there, we took a stroll through the weekly street fair and looked for a place to have dinner.  As fate would have it, we chose a very popular Mexican Restaurant, Las Casuelas Terrazza, and were seated on the patio where live music filled the warm summer night air.  We were happy, and Daughter was in a better place than she had been when we left home. The band played one familiar song after another and I eventually felt compelled to grab Daughter and said, “Come on, let’s dance!”  For a moment, she resisted. “Dance with my mother? In public? Someone might see me!” But I insisted, and she reluctantly joined me - for one song. Then another. And another. We stayed on the dance floor for the rest of the evening. To this day, whenever we hear the song, What I Like About You, we find each other to share a dance together - reliving that moment in Palm Springs when we danced with wild abandon to the tune, knowing how much we meant to each other. It was magical!

It has been years since we have re-lived our Palm Springs girls trip, and this will be the first time that Son’s fiancé will be joining us. Daughter made the reservations at our little hotel this year, and requested our favorite room. The same band still plays at the same restaurant, and I guarantee that dancing will be involved. Our poolside conversation will include Fiancé’s wedding plans, and Daughter’s dreams with the wonderful man in her life. Happy Meals have been replaced with Happy Hours, and if I am lucky, I may get one of them to join me for a stroll to the nearby museum - or maybe we’ll just hang at the pool!

 

Mother and Daughter in Palm Springs - 2001. My surprise 50th birthday party. Dancing included!