 |
| My Big Kahuna and me. 50 years of memories. |
We rang in 2018 together, celebrating west coast New Year’s
Eve on east coast time! 3,2,1 HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! We kissed, and hugged tighter.
Longer. Made a promise to repeat this
hug a year from now - something we never felt the need to say before. We held
hands, and in that moment we both knew what the other was thinking. Would this be our last New Year? I
have felt the warm touch of his strong hand wrapped around mine for 46 New
Year’s Eves. A week earlier I stopped taking for granted the otherwise trivial
act of intertwining fingers with my best friend, lover, confidant, problem
solver, and father of my children…
In a matter of seconds, on the eve of the long Christmas
weekend, I felt the blood rush from my heart to the pit of my stomach. My
throat tightened and I felt the heat in my temples as millions of brain cells
processed the incomprehensible. Hubby has cancer. Rare. Incurable. Advanced. The
oncologist gave us the verdict, and pronounced the sentence. His words gave an
urgency and new meaning to everything.
Chemo has begun – and not without drama (to be shared in an
upcoming post). He has been receiving thrice weekly dialysis for the acute
renal failure triggered by the cancer. Hubby is a fighter and is treating this
as he would as one of his trials. In his words, “This cancer is no different
than cross-examining a hostile witness. Be aggressive, stay in control and cut
them no slack until they are brought to their knees.” Those enemy cancer cells
picked the wrong guy to mess with!
50 years ago, the friendliest boy in our senior class
noticed a shy, bookish, insecure classmate. A friendship began, and three years
later blossomed into a love affair. 44 years ago we exchanged the “for better
or worse, in sickness and in health” vows - and have been blessed with a
lifetime of “better” and “health”. We weren’t prepared for opposite ends of
those vows, but it’s the hand we’ve been dealt.
Until now, news of Hubby's diagnosis has been limited to family and extended family. It has taken time for us to adjust to the new normal. He had chosen to control the narrative, and still hopes not to be defined by the diagnosis. But knowing that my therapy is writing, Hubby gave his blessing to sharing his journey from my perspective. Thank you, honey. We’re
in this new chapter together and the love of my life – my Big Kahuna - remains
#kahunastrong.
This is what I was afraid to hear. I am sorry this is happening to such a great person. We of course don't get to choose. You both support each other from day to day, but your friends are thinking of you too. Look for something good in everyday, kiss each other and the kids. Stay strong and know you are in my prayers. It takes more energy to frown than smile. So keep smiling!!
ReplyDeleteRobin, I wish the years and miles hadn't separated us for so long. The Kahuna and I have such loving memories of the "early years"! Hugs to your beautiful family, and thank you for your love and support.
DeleteHappy that your Big K gave you his blessings and put the “pen in your hand”. I know he’s a private big bear but he knows how eloquently you speak and how cathartic writing is for his Beautiful Wahine! We adore this Hultman Family, you are A Strong, connected family and you all will be there for Geo. and each other. Let those of us that can run interceptions with a meal or a movie night. Maybe a massage date for both of you!! Woo hoo! Get away when you can, small day trips in fresh air is always good for everyone! I love you 2. Big Hugs. ❤️��❤️
ReplyDelete